[asd-repo.git] / fortune / files / kiss

<kiedtl> "You will see Dylan's ghost by candlelight tonight."
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<dylanaraps> I say "no a lot"
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<necromancy> modprobe that doozy
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<dilyn> you've made me violently ill
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<dilyn> Google gNoogle gUgle
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<midfavila> man, I get nervous every time I power up my workstation, haha
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<jaafard> Btw, dilyn, are you Dylan Araps? Or is it just a similar nick?
<dilyn> i wish i was
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<dilyn> like, at least they don't think i'm Boris Johnson's dog
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<dilyn> i spent eighteen months working at starbucks; i am the stereotype of my
degrees lmao
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<ominous_anonymou> somewhere drew devault needs to change his pants and he
doesn't know why
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<midfavila1> one sec gotta cut up an onion
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<midfavila> "OH WOW I CAN PUT IT IN BOTH WAYS THIS TOTALLY JUSTIFIES LOSING
BACKWARDS COMPATIBILITY WITH EVERYTHING FROM THE PAST TWENTY-FIVE
YEARS11!11!1!1!1!11"
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<@dilyn> gemini got a new bdfl
<ctb0> who Sundar Pichai?
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<@dilyn> Let's just drop support for input devices
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 * midfavila1 nods
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 * midfavila1 flexes on acheam
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<@dilyn> I will rage
<@dilyn> and we will go back to the good old days of being the goatpiss
organization
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<acheam> doom is fine, as long as it isn't doom emacs
<merakor> WHAT
<acheam> I said what I said.
<phoebos[m]1> omg
<merakor> I AM SCREAMING AT YOU THROUGH MY IRC CLIENT ON DOOM EMACS
<acheam> ah, the natural rage of an emacs user. Quite fitting indeed.
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<dilyn> emacs is for 5head humans
<dilyn> he has to justify learning lisp to program his OS-within-an-OS, forgive
him
<dilyn> what like you've never done what is essentially firing up a Windows VM
to run notepad?
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<midfavila> kiss becomes k becomes kiss
<midfavila> the araps cycle
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<@dilyn> I don't need sudo to yell at me too :(
<midfavila> it's okay dilyn I can yell at you instead
<@dilyn> thanks dad
<midfavila> ya winning, son?
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<@dilyn> if my biggest contribution to this project is a bunch of fucking meme
quotes i swear to god
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<@acheam> something something unix philosiphy
<@dilyn> something something changing your keymap with xorg
<@dilyn> something something do I need a xorg.conf
<@dilyn> something something how do i keyboard
<midfavila> well idk about you but I change my keyboard layout by flashing
firmware files
<@dilyn> man turns out i was a cuck the whole time huh
<@dilyn> why didn't I think of that!
<midfavila> the starbucks and philosophy thing gave it away
<midfavila> i bet you use a filthy macbook too
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<@kiedtl> except the matrix heathens ofc
<@acheam> *cough cough* dilyn
<midfavila> yeah well they don't matter anyway
<@dilyn> Hey I was just trying it out(tm)
<midfavila> nope
<midfavila> opinion discarded
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<@dilyn> maybe I can convince them i'm dylan and I just misspelled my name and
lied about living in greece
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<midfavila> if dilyn is kill then we just elect another bdfl
<midfavila> they just grow on trees after all
<@dilyn> can confirm; grew on a willow tree for fifteen years
<midfavila> explains everything
<@dilyn> yeah it's why i cry so much
<midfavila> why couldn't we have an oak bdfl
<midfavila> smh
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<konimex> KISS doesn't use apt so I don't know why you mention it
<midfavila> apt is a word
<midfavila> smh
<midfavila> konimex should be our next-in-line bdfl
<midfavila> switch kiss to apt
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<midfavila> that sounds like a you thing no offense
<@dilyn> lol
<@dilyn> everyone so fiesty today
<midfavila> i'm always fiesty
<midfavila> but getting smacked in the face by a frying pan and not having cream
for my tea made me extra fiest
<sh4rm4^bnc> sounds like an ubuntu release
<sh4rm4^bnc> fiesty fucker
<midfavila> that should be my project role
<midfavila> kiss linux/fiesty fucker/midfavila
<@dilyn> you say feisty, I say focker
<@acheam> feisty
(silence)
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<midfavila> if you're a KISS user I either expect you don't have a phone
<midfavila> or you're using a rooted android
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<midfavila> if you stare into #kisslinux for long enough, #kisslinux will stare
back
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<midfavila> >iPhone
<midfavila> no
<midfavila> bad
<midfavila> don't make me get the newspaper
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<midfavila> i just use an old blackberry
<midfavila> although for a while I did have a GNU userland on it
<midfavila> using nano on a blackberry is p good
<@dilyn> is this sacrilege, or cancer? i can't tell
<midfavila> yes
<midfavila> completely unironically I used a QNX tty on my phone as my primary
computing environment for about a month and a half
<midfavila> literally fight me, iToddlers
<@dilyn> I would rather have both of my thumbs sewn up my own ass and be forced
to use TTS for a year than use a TTY on my phone
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<ominous_anonymou> too many devault rants to read, i don't have time for petty
things like reading for fun
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<@dilyn> I'm just so obsessed with this opinionated man
<midfavila> nobody except me is allowed to have opinions
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 * dilyn cries
<midfavila> gee guys my notification just went off but I can't see anything
<midfavila> weird
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<midfavila> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST USE OUT OF DATE SOFTWARE!
<midfavila> think of muh securideee :D
<midfavila> heil CVE
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<DilynCorner[m]> Now you just sound like a 200 level CSE prof
<DilynCorner[m]> 'the answer is, of course, recursion'
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<@dilyn> vibin' is what i do best on the cloc
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<@dilyn> he's just mad he isn't poettering
<@dilyn> rip sad lad
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<acheam> for (i=0; i<1000000000000; i++); do
echo "." >> file; git commit file -m "update"; done; git push
 * dilyn chef's kiss
<@dilyn> check out this *bespoke distro*
<@dilyn> commits just say 're'
<necromansy> commits are just an ever increasing amount of e's
<@dilyn> systemreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEeEeEeEeEeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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<@dilyn> :)
<midfavila> :))))))))
<@acheam> :)))))))))))))))))
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<midfavila> I Can't Believe It's Not Chrome!
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<@acheam> mid, stop taking a monopoly in the fortune file
<midfavila> fuckin make me
<midfavila> can't tell me what to do
<@acheam> mid, stop taking a monopoly in the fortune file
<@dilyn> mid, stop taking a monopoly in the fortune file
 * midfavila smacks both with newspaper
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<@dilyn> I mean I love cankin' it to wayland as much as the next guy
<midfavila> i too enjoy participating in circlejerks in obscure eye are see
gahnoo's not yoonix loonix chats
<midfavila> that's why I'm here after all
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soon (tm)
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<midfavila> jfc the fortunes file is literally like 80% me shitposting
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<midfavila> there will always be a place for you in the embrace of xorg
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<@dilyn> i interface with my computer via a bluetooth chip i implanted in my
brain
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<midfavila> i'm a GOAT
<midfavila> fuckin humans man
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<@acheam> oh my
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<midfavila> totally unrelated but man
<midfavila> I'm having *way* too much fun with my bayonet
<midfavila> an adult needs to confiscate it from me
<@dilyn> teenager restraint code activated
<@dilyn> please stand by while a responsible adult is sent to your location
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<midfavila1> "Kernel? Kernel who?"
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<@kiedtl> cc flags are so darn complicated
<@kiedtl> so much for unix simplicity
<@acheam> the solution?
<@acheam> rust.
-- Mode #kisslinux [+q acheam!*@*] by kiedtl
<midfavila1> i'm banning you acheam
<@kiedtl> Bad.
<@acheam> :mode -q acheam
-- Mode #kisslinux [-q acheam!*@*] by kiedtl
 * midfavila1 smacks acheam cruelly for their stupidity
<@acheam> big move quieting an op
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<midfavila1> "The one who does not fight, lasts the longest"
<midfavila1> -Sun Tzu probably
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(mocking midfavila) <@kiedtl> "Look at me ma, I fixed an egg salad sandwich with
a century-old bayonet"
<midfavila1> once I have two bayonets I can do the whole "gee mid why does your
mom let you have *two* bayonets?"
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<@dilyn> i've sucked dick more dismissive than that
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 * midfavila facedesks
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<midfavila> smgl literally has a command to exorcise things
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<midfavila> i said the heathen
<midfavila> not me
<@kiedtl> you asked me to
<midfavila> i'm like, the prophet
<@kiedtl> and you are?
<@kiedtl> the prophet of the heathen?
<@kiedtl> I'm confused
<midfavila> the prophet of KISS
<@kiedtl> KISS is not heathen
<midfavila> i channel the spirit of dylan
<midfavila> using my 2x4
<@kiedtl> The spirit of dylan does not manifest itself in the bodies of the
unsanctified.
<midfavila> i'd use a ouija board but that's too complex
<midfavila> and besides it's not usable by a single person
<necromansy> gotta respect the daemons
<midfavila> exactly
<midfavila> you must chant "Keep it simple stupid" three times before beginning
the trance
<midfavila> and only then will dylan manifest
<@kiedtl> Even a heathen prophet is still not eligible for that privilege
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<@acheam> we need to make a #kisslinux-whining where its just a place that we
can go to rant about software lol
<midfavila> then this channel wouldn't get used
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rtfm
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<@dilyn> landley couldn't have written a better grep than *checks notes*
BurntSushi, could he??
<@dilyn> it would probably go zoom much quick
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<@dilyn> i take back everything. gnu is bae.
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<@acheam> posix shell gang
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<nxghtmvrx> Any useful tips?
<midfavila> install gentoo
<@acheam> run while you can
<midfavila> it's already too late
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<midfavila> exhaustion and low morale are huge problems. controversial
statements only in #kisslinux
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<midfavila> apply the unix philosophy to your life. do one thing and do it well.
<midfavila> *become* the coreutil
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<midfavila> normie detected
<midfavila> termination initiated
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<midfavila> ZOMG w00t!1!! XD
<@dilyn> 1337
<necromansy> h4x0r5
<midfavila> v37y e11t3
<necromansy> r4wr x3
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<travankor> but m-muh chemical weapons?!?  
<@dilyn> god this channel is so weird
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<@acheam> what did the git tiny patch do?
<@acheam> besides making git tiny
<midfavila> made it teeny, in addition to tiny
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<@dilyn> does it even use https
<@dilyn> lol they can insert 'dilyn eats rocks' into your logs ooohhh
neeeoooooooooo
<midfavila> "ereps is next"
<@dilyn> if you're https fan boy, don't CONSULT ME
<@dilyn> if i found that in a log i would deadass delete my existence 
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<hellboy2d> Picasso is an ati driver?
<@acheam> picasso is an artist
<midfavila> picasso is a pain-
<midfavila> FUCK
<hellboy2d> KKKKKKKK
<midfavila> godDAMN you, acheam
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<midfavila> you need mesa on top of the graphics driver
<midfavila> well
<midfavila> you don't *need* mesa
<midfavila> but you need mesa
<testuser_[m]> :shock:
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<midfavila> s/cringe/cringe
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<necromansy> money money moneey
<@dilyn> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
<@dilyn> grubbing intensifies
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** acheam complaining about python **
<midfavila> the pythonista cries out in pain as he witnesses the horrors of C
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<@dilyn> click clack never get your time back
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<@dilyn> hippity hoppity your source tree is my property
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<@acheam> dilyn: true love is posix shell, not gurlfrend
<@dilyn> #!/bin/she
<@acheam> bad interpreter: /bin/she: no such file or directory
<@dilyn> she just doesn't understand me
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<@dilyn> cat /dev/null >> /dev/sdc2
<@acheam> ohh yeah thats the stuff
<@dilyn> fill my disk with zeroes daddy mmmm
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<dgre> systemd rust gtk4
-- Mode #kisslinux [+q dgre!*@*] by acheam
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<ominous_anonymou> but but i thought BSDs aren't relevant any more?
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<@acheam> if you have extra credit, spin up some tor relays, or a folding at
home instace
<nxghtmvrx> Mine some crypto or something lol
<testingkirc> acheam wants to use the credit to help society nxghtmvrx wants to
mine crypto XD
<nxghtmvrx> Hell yes. Just make it part of botnet or some nasty stuff
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<nxghtmvrx> That should be some real hard glasses. Not these modern fragile
ones. Thinkpad in the world of sunglasses
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<midfavila> before long you'll be screaming about pickles
<@dilyn> i fucking love pickles dog
<midfavila> I'M PICKLE DYLAAAN
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<omanom> max recursion depth reached!
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<@dilyn> perl is fucking trash
<@dilyn> why is their build system so wiggidy wiggidy wack
<midfavila> because it's basically python for boomers
<midfavila> combining shit and shit just gets you a bigger pile of shit
<midfavila> you don't need a maths degree to figure that out lmao
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<midfavila> perl knows best, betaboi
<@dilyn> :|
<midfavila> :p
<midfavila> I'm a valued contributor to this project
<@dilyn> :| |:
<@dilyn> \ ._. /
<midfavila> lmfao
<midfavila> you know you'd miss me if I was gone
<@dilyn> lol
<midfavila> nobody would be here to bully you
<midfavila> and how sad would that be
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<midfavila> go to your room acheam
<midfavila> no more internet for tonight
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<@dilyn> welcome to the present, palememe
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<@dilyn> i have said many things, sometimes it's hard for even me to keep them
all straight c:
<@acheam> the wise words of a lunatic
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<@acheam> mozilla is dying
<@dilyn> f
<@acheam> dilyn: you don't have a right to say f, you chromium scum
<@dilyn> mozilla is dead, and I killed him
<@acheam> *gasp*
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<sh4rm4^bnc> new feature: rewrite lisp code in C because it was too slow
<@dilyn> sh4rm4^bnc: s/feature/torture device/
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<hellboy2d> carbs actually works?
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<merakor> I watched EmacsCon from mpv
<merakor> Damn it, why not Emacs
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<necromansy> ITS A HANDGUN
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<midfavila> carry a crossbow around
<midfavila> and that's totally a-okay
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<merakor> firefox is basically "javascript implemented in rust"
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<midfavila> should just rewrite your init scripts with filesystem-specific
checkers
<midfavila> smh
<@dilyn> i'm dead
<@dilyn> I'm dead and mid has killed me
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<midfavila> Everything I Don't Like Is Literally A Cargo Cult!
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<@dilyn> if my hands aren't flying across my keyboard as I furiously type my
diatribes, am I even using a computer?
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<midfavila> i'm not shitposting
<midfavila> i'm Contributing:tm:
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<@acheam> GUIs? we don't need no stinking GUIs!
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<midfavila> all kiss linux users have a moral god-given obligation to maintain
at least ten thousand packages
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<E5ten> this just reminded me to update git, so I was terrified that my patch
wasn't gonna apply and I was gonna have to modify it to fit the current
upstream, which would be a nightmare cuz I just got high lol
<merakor> I remember sending a mail patch to Dylan while drunk
<merakor> And I sent like 5 mails because I was so fucking high and wrote 4
garbage patches
<merakor> All my mails were "I got it this time I'm so sorry"
<@acheam> try finding contributors of this quality anywhere else folks!
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<<<<<<< HEAD
<midfavila> gotta encrypt it using the strongest cipher
<midfavila> otherwise known as base64
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<merakor> Nothing quite like the warmth of compiling Webkit on a cold morning
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<nxghtmvrx> In EmacsOS with systemd-kerneld everything just works too. You may
just switch at this point :p
<nxghtmvrx> Its in development for 20+ light years and tools from it used in
different OSes so no one can stop you
<@dilyn> that's a long distance to be in development
<nxghtmvrx> So yeah we measure its development in kilometers. Don't ask why
<nxghtmvrx> Well actually that's because of SpaceMacs I think
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<@dilyn> oh sweet baby fucking jesus christ
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<midfavila> the virgin nxgh vs the chad acheam
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<@acheam> tree / | aplay
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word of the day: "/usr/etc"
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<@acheam> midfavila: what do you mean? .tar iS compression
<@acheam> you do know that the .gz and .xz are optional, and only put there by
legacy programs, right?
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<@dilyn> mfw KISSfoundation is the new Mozilla Foundation
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<travankor> CDDL: the copyleft license that bsd people like
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A camel is a horse designed by a committee.
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This wiki is incomplete, you can help by expanding it!
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<AndroUser> Hello world
<@acheam> hi AndroUser
<kiedtl> ehlo
<@dilynm> Hallo
<testuser_[m]> hi
<M4R10zM0113R> helo
<claudia02> hola.
<eudaldgr> hola
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<@dilynm> I am an abuser
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<@acheam> we shall expand our empire with force!
<@dilyn> #manifestdestiny
<@acheam> kiss shall be known in academia for centuries to come
<midfavila> is manifest destiny our distro slogan
<@dilyn> heck naw
<@dilyn> gotta be something like...
<@dilyn> dream distro meme distro
<@dilyn> what you wish gentoo could've been
<midfavila> the slogan can't just be a fucking description
<@dilyn> 'the meme has gone too far'
<@dilyn> hold onto your lips?
<midfavila> "KISS Linux: 'The meme has gone too far'"
<midfavila> ...
<midfavila> Slogan of the day?
<@dilyn> -wayne gretzky -michael scott -dilyn corner
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<GMR> hiii bro
<GMR> i want to join hacking groups 
<GMR> help plz
<@acheam> if you want to be a 733t hackerz, there is one crucial step:
<@acheam> create an altar to Dylan Araps, and light an effigy
<@acheam> everything after that comes naturally
<GMR> sorry i don't understand what are you saying
GMR (~DELL@2409:4051:7:f478:d93d:c65e:92e9:cd07) has quit (Quit: Leaving)
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<kiedtl> 733t l00n1x haggerz kissing each other
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<@dilyn> hyperbola, parabola, webola
<@dilyn> parabopolis
<midfavila> something something parabolas and hyperbolas are different elements
of a shape
<@dilyn> the art of abola
<midfavila> or something
<midfavila> you're forgetting ebola
<@acheam> thats the one with systemd, right?
<midfavila> systemd+ebola gnu/linux
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<@dilyn> isn't /usr/include your pocket reference for
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<@dilyn> whenever I login to a new system my first order of business is to
`chown -R root:root ~/*`
<@dilyn> just to show the sysadmin I have nothing to hide
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<noocsharp> ive always wanted a vibrator for my terminal
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<dilyn> `touch` all the things
<necromansy> woah woah hey settle down dilyn
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