Add basic insult capability

[opendoas.git] / insults.c

diff --git a/insults.c b/insults.c
new file mode 100644 (file)
index 0000000..4a49390
--- /dev/null
+++ b/insults.c
@@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
+#include <stdlib.h>
+#include <time.h>
+
+char *insults[] = {
+
+    /*
+     * These insults were stolen from the Sudo project.
+     * The copyright header on those files states:
+     *     ISC license
+     *     Copyright (c) 1996-2018Todd C. Miller <Todd.Miller@sudo.ws>
+     */
+
+    "Just what do you think you're doing Dave?",
+    "It can only be attributed to human error.",
+    "That's something I cannot allow to happen.",
+    "My mind is going. I can feel it.",
+    "Sorry about this, I know it's a bit silly.",
+    "Take a stress pill and think things over.",
+    "This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.",
+    "I feel much better now.",
+    "Wrong!  You cheating scum!",
+    "And you call yourself a Rocket Scientist!",
+    "No soap, honkie-lips.",
+    "Where did you learn to type?",
+    "Are you on drugs?",
+    "My pet ferret can type better than you!",
+    "You type like i drive.",
+    "Do you think like you type?",
+    "Your mind just hasn't been the same since the electro-shock, has it?",
+    "Maybe if you used more than just two fingers...",
+    "BOB says:  You seem to have forgotten your passwd, enter another!",
+    "stty: unknown mode: doofus",
+    "I can't hear you -- I'm using the scrambler.",
+    "The more you drive -- the dumber you get.",
+    "Listen, broccoli brains, I don't have time to listen to this trash.",
+    "I've seen penguins that can type better than that.",
+    "Have you considered trying to match wits with a rutabaga?",
+    "You speak an infinite deal of nothing",
+    "You silly, twisted boy you.",
+    "He has fallen in the water!",
+    "We'll all be murdered in our beds!",
+    "You can't come in. Our tiger has got flu",
+    "I don't wish to know that.",
+    "What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?",
+    "You can't get the wood, you know.",
+    "You'll starve!",
+    "... and it used to be so popular...",
+    "Pauses for audience applause, not a sausage",
+    "Hold it up to the light --- not a brain in sight!",
+    "Have a gorilla...",
+    "There must be cure for it!",
+    "There's a lot of it about, you know.",
+    "You do that again and see what happens...",
+    "Ying Tong Iddle I Po",
+    "Harm can come to a young lad like that!",
+    "And with that remarks folks, the case of the Crown vs yourself was proven.",
+    "Speak English you fool --- there are no subtitles in this scene.",
+    "You gotta go owwwww!",
+    "I have been called worse.",
+    "It's only your word against mine.",
+    "I think ... err ... I think ... I think I'll go home",
+    "That is no basis for supreme executive power!",
+    "You empty-headed animal food trough wiper!",
+    "I fart in your general direction!",
+    "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!",
+    "You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!",
+    "I wave my private parts at your aunties!",
+    "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!",
+    "I wish to make a complaint.",
+    "When you're walking home tonight, and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!",
+    "This man, he doesn't know when he's beaten! He doesn't know when he's winning, either. He has no... sort of... sensory apparatus...",
+    "There's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong.",
+    "I'm very sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.",
+
+#ifndef DOAS_INSULTS_KISS
+#define DOAS_INSULTS_KISS
+
+    /*
+     * Insults from the KISS Linux community
+     */
+
+    "",
+
+#endif
+};
+
+const char *
+getinsult(void)
+{
+       srand(time(NULL));
+       return (insults[rand() % (sizeof(insults) / sizeof(insults[0]))]);
+}